One of the Hardest Challenges in Blended Families: Treating the Kids Equally
Striving for equality in reward, punishment, love and affection
Many parents will have heard their kids accuse them of favouring one child over another. It’s presumably made to trigger guilt in the parent and intended to cause hurt, most often when the child’s ego has been bruised. It’ll often be made when the child doesn’t appreciate a punishment that’s been handed down for an infraction, or when they feel you’ve favoured their sibling over them.
I’ve always gone out of my way to treat my kids as fairly and equally as I could. Accusations that I favour one over the other are unfounded in spite of what either might think.
What I wasn’t prepared for in my life as a parent, was how much more challenging the maintenance of this standard would be when I inherited two step-kids; a blessing that came along with my second wife. The opportunities for falling foul of such standards suddenly doubled. The pressure built upon us to ensure not only that I treated my two equally, but also that I treated hers equally too; the same applied for her.
The principle of equality in blended families applies in many more contexts than I’d ever envisaged it might, and these continue to surprise and occasionally torment me…
