The Essential Art of Showing Up
In an age where the only constant is change and political and societal turmoil seem to be the norm we are bombarded with new and catchy, sometimes blindingly obvious ways to simplify our lives, to reduce the noise and to make life in 2017 more palatable. Whether through the simple act of tidying our surroundings and minimalist living, adopting the principles of Hygge (the Danish process of living simply, apparently) or mastering the subtle art of not giving a f**k, we’re presented with tools, techniques and mind-sets that will help us to ease the mental and emotional indigestion and make life a little easier.
I’m a practical kind of guy. I appreciate the importance of adopting the right mind-set to achieve my goals, but I’m definitely more about the action than the intention. As such, I want to share my own recipe for success in life (or at least one of the most essential ingredients) which seems to be getting lost increasingly. The importance of showing up.
Outside of a fairly average day-job in IT, my main calling in life is in working with those undergoing divorce or separation and helping them to build a life after divorce that brings greater fulfilment and happiness than they might have enjoyed in married-life or ever conceived as a possibility after divorce. In one of my coaching calls I was challenged by the client to name three things that make me a good father to the kids from my first marriage.
‘Good’ is a very subjective term. In context I suspect he meant it in reference to his own situation and was asking as a means of trying to figure out some guiding principles he could apply in the relationship he was working on with his kids.
I certainly don’t feel like a good father at times; sometimes I feel like I am killing-it but sometimes I feel like killing them (not literally of course, for disclaimers sake).
When put on the spot I didn’t have an immediate answer, but quite quickly after the call I figured out number one on the list. Put simply, I show up.
I show up for them, I appear where I say I will, I do what I say I will, I act with consistency as much as I can. Is this such a good thing? Is it a differentiator? Would my kids agree? I think so.
